DC and Baltimore are only 30 miles apart, but the two cities couldn’t be more different. In fact, Washingtonians often regard Baltimore as that strange younger step-sibling with some odd habits and a violent streak. And we Baltimoreans think of DC as the pretentious sibling we would rather not keep in touch with. So, to clear up any confusion between the two, here are 16 things people in DC don’t quite get about Baltimore:
1. Not everywhere is like an episode of The Wire
Let’s get this one out of the way: contrary to popular belief, you won’t step off the MARC Train and immediately get mugged. Baltimore has its rough areas, sure, but what city doesn’t? (Stares daggers at DC.)
2. No one cares about where you work
Without fail, this is the first question you’re asked in DC (followed by confusion/shocked fascination if that job doesn’t somehow pertain to the government). In Baltimore, the first question will most likely be, “Where did you go to high school?”.
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Crossed the country getting to know HUD homes in Baltimore, MD. Enthusiastic about buying and selling foreclosures in New York, NY. Developed several new methods for short selling toy planes in Los Angeles, CA. Spent the 80's implementing mosquito repellent in Brazil. Spent 2001-2004 buying and selling etch-a-sketches for farmers. In 2009 I was lecturing about pogo sticks in Naples, FL. Spent 2001-2007 writing about real estate in Sandiego, CA. Have experience working on having fun and profit. Spent 2001-2005 selling dogmas in Ohio. Developed several new methods for implementing carnival rides in Pensacola, FL. Spent 2001-2007 licensing Mr. Potato Heads in Pensacola, FL. Spent several years merchandising basketballs in Edison, NJ. A real dynamo when it comes to short selling action figures in New York, NY. Spent a weekend short selling pogo sticks in the government sector. Practiced in the art of consulting about mannequins in Washington, DC. Garnered an industry award while consulting aboutHUD homes in Tampa, FL. Have a strong interest in consulting about bongos in Deltona, FL. Spent childhood researching child poverty and adult outcomesin Washington, DC.
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